An Open Letter To Vegans

Dear, vegans and some vegetarians.

I have been confronted by any of you over my years of existence and am even friends with some. There is a complete mutual understanding between myself and my vegetarian/vegan friends. 
We love you and your enthusiasm but the problem arises when sometimes your enthusiasm comes across as a little too aggressive.
You see, us meat eaters completely understand where you come from and I will admit that the modern day processes are not ideal. We love animals just as much as you do and we want to cuddle them and pet them too. We even have pets, I know right?
I make an effort to eat as many vegetables as I can and regularly have meat-free meals. In fact, as I type this I am feasting on a moist, juicy and scrumptious roast potato. But as a human being with canines I feel it is beneficial to my diet to consume a certain amount of meat as we have been doing since the dawn of time. The problem is that now humans have become so greedy that we have taken over the planet and raped it of all it's vegetation, some of which is used in your every day lives. That's not cool, I will admit. 
I want to free all the cows and pigs and chickens from their pens and let them live happy care-free lives, but I also want to eat some of them. I don't see this as "wrong" or a savage act. If you hadn't known any better or lived in an Amish community with not ties to the outside world you would probably see eating meat as normal. In fact, you would probably have to slaughter your own beast to obtain that meat anyway. I guess that is neither here nor there.

Again, I'm not saying any of that is right, but I'm also not saying it's wrong. If we were to free all the animals in the world that were raised for consumption we would be left with an overpopulation of animals breeding at a rapid rate. We would also have less air to breath because cow farts and burps are pretty toxic and will poison our precious oxygen supply, much like the car you drive does or the paper mill that supplies you paper does or the smoke caused by your furious online rants.

Unfortunately in this modern world there is no turning back. There is only slowing down.  I will compromise and live a meat-free Monday from now on. Maybe if we all did it would make a significant change, but let's face it, we will never stop eating meat. We always have eaten eat and we always will.

Maybe one day we can resort to eating human meat to save a few more animals, but I don't see that going down too well with the general population.
See, I'm no scientist but I do know there are certain health benefits from not eating meat and I know there are certain health benefits if you do eat meat. To me, neither are less healthy, one is just a whole lot more tasty.

I urge you to keep fighting you fight, just fight it in a nicer way than most of you are now. For instance, don't go to a restaurant that only serves bacon and then complain about it when you don't eat meat in the first place. Humans have many differences and we have adjusted and learned to live with each other's differences so please, just be a nice human and live with those who don't follow the same practices that you do. You don't really have a choice... well, you do, but killing people on a mass scale is frowned upon, especially considering current affairs. And please, stop calling us murderers, because we aren't, we're humans just like you. 

Much love;
Ricki and the meat eaters.

PS. Here is a picture of a steak.